Scary But Necessary Life Changes

I'm raising money to move the heck out of San Jose to a much cheaper place. If you wish to help me secure my new life but cannot donate through GoFundMe since they don't accept PayPal, my Streamtip is always open even when I'm offline on Twitch: http://streamtip.com/t/isolte

Thank yoooooouuu!!

Starting A Dream Journal?

For the majority of my sleeping life, I have had incredibly vivid dreams ever since I can remember. I've always wanted to start a dream journal, but I've always seemed to have lost the energy to write as soon as I got out of bed or I just simply didn't have the time. When I was in college, I had a Psychology assignment to log my dreams (if any) every day for an entire week. After that project, the desire to start a dream journal really kicked in, but it just never stuck. I have a physical notebook that is a sort of diary but I rarely write in it; it has entries that are weeks, months, and even a year in between and a handful of them mention parts of dreams I had.

Well, anyway, I said all that because I don't know if this will become a regular thing on this blog. It is a pretty personal topic, but I had a dream last night that I feel comfortable sharing. I am no writer, but maybe sharing the details of my dreams will help me to become a better one?

Happiness, damn it!

Patch 5.4.8
After a ton of thinking (and pining over my inactive WoW subscription) I decided to reactivate it. Although money is still scarce and the job hunt still depressingly unfruitful, the kindness of friends and even some strangers recently has gotten me to realize some things about the way I've been living my life. This last year in particular, I've come down on myself way too hard about unemployment, weight gain, and a slough of other things so much so that I stopped doing the things that I love because I began to see them as a waste of time since they weren't making me any money or getting me back in shape. The lack of games, singing, and generally fun things I used to enjoy has just plunged myself deeper into depression, away from the people that I love, and further away from all my life goals.

I'm not sure if I have what it takes right now to be a full-time live-streamer or YouTube content creator and make a living off of gaming, but I am partnered on Twitch and YouTube. The prospect of making a few dollars while playing WoW is better than no WoW and no income at all, right? *sigh* We'll see how this goes. My self confidence has plummeted even more than I ever thought it could over this past year in general (with randomly few and far between spurts of positivity), but I really do believe that I am on my way to recovering now.

As a tiny step forward, I took some time to redesign the header on this blog and I am a lot happier with it. (The header graphic is no longer static, and the old advertisement-looking slider has become the new header) :3 Hopefully, just looking at it will remind me of what I used to love about why I got involved in the WoW community to begin with.

Personal Reflection

Let me preface with this: this blog entry is a personal reflection of recent events regarding my health. No cause for alarm here, I simply wanted to get my thoughts out of my head while I'm thinking them...

Last week, Nuku took me to the hospital at around 10pm Wednesday night for the first time in my life due to some really painful aches in my lower back (or so I thought that's where the pain was from). I felt silly since I've never gone to the hospital before and we don't even have a regular physician. We even went to the wrong entrance where a nice lady in "Patient Registration" directed us to the ER! There was a family in the waiting room when we arrived so I was nervous about how long we'd be waiting. But I filled out the short information form and the triage nurse called me up in less than 10 minutes. She asked me to pee in a cup which was fail because I had just gone to the bathroom at home before Nuku took me to the ER because I thought I just had some really bad gas cramps! XD The nurse sent me back to a curtained off room where I signed more paperwork as another nurse hooked me up to an IV and drugged me with three drugs (I can't remember the names of atm) to get rid of the pain quickly. The doctor told me I may have a kidney stone. They ordered me a CT Scan, that was another first for me too, and results showed that I do in fact have kidney stones. "Of note, there is a duplicated left kidney." hehe.. Ya, I just found out last week that I have 3 kidneys too. The doctor compared the abnormality to having a 6th finger. =3

So he wrote me a prescription for some Vicodin for when the pain comes back since the stones aren't big enough for invasive treatment/surgery (thank gods!) but I'll have to pee the damn thing out! He gave me an odd strainer thingy and said that until I "catch" the stone, they can't really tell me anything else about how the stone formed and what I can do to prevent them in the future. XD Sorry if this is way too much information, but I am thoroughly amused that I have to strain my own urine and actually look for a stone as small as a grain of sand!

My family doesn't have a history of kidney stones that I know of, but my mom's side has a history of diabetes. Doc said It can take up to 2 weeks for a stone to pass so I'm doing a little more research on kidney stones in the meantime so I at least know more about it. XD

I'm turning 27 at the end of November and this incident has given me that feelin' old mentality! At least it's helped as far as reminding me that I need to take better care of myself. I popped a pill just a minute ago since the pain is what prompted these thoughts in the first place. Hope this passes before BlizzCon and not during! XD The pain is unbearable when it happens, but that's the problem: it's really random and sporadic. Wish me luck with this. Thanks.

Just a quick update!

Patch 3.3.3

Last Sunday, I ordered the Weta Legs (see http://www.wetanz.com/wetalegs) thanks to your very, very, very generous contributions to the "Isolte Cosplay Fund". I've been diligently working on the "thank you" gift(s) if you're wondering where I've been. ^_^ Just want to let you know that I'm breathing as much thankful, creative, loving energy into it as possible!

Also, I plan to check out some costume stuffs at Fanime Con this coming weekend such as contact lenses and other various things I might find useful for becoming Isolte. ^_^ Lets hope I find some more great ideas... speaking of ideas, it just hit me that Draenei have fangs and I already have that taken care of. XD

Anyway, I've been neglecting the game, but fear not my friends! It is all for good cause. I've been contacted by Markee Dragon about writing/singing an intro "jingle" for his YouTube show, and I've further partnered with Per Kiilstofte of THE MachinimaSound.com to compose the music and work with me on the lyrics. ^_^ (Of course, Markee contacted me after my pestering social networking comments on his videos got him to simply check out my YouTube channel! XP)

Anyway, I've said a lot more than I thought I had to say... So, 'til next time! <3

Cosplay ChipIn

Patch 3.3.3

I'd like to direct you to this link, http://isolte.chipin.com/irl-isolte-cosplay, for up to date news specifically related to my "Cosplay Fund-raiser".

Also, expect pics of me-trying-to-be-Isolte poppin up on here... I'm kinda nervous because I don't want to ruin the image that is Isolte by slappin my face up here, buuuut, I'll be Isolte/myself (since she is me in a way) as best I can. XD Hehe. I've only ever cosplayed as furry characters before (completely covered from head to toe in FUR) so this will be a new and exciting challenge for me. I'm actually starting to build Isolte's horns and hair combo this week. ^_^ *squee* If you're at all interested in seeing a tiny glimpse of my costume-builiding/sewing skills, please visit my other website, www.blackbackstudio.com.

And to everyone: Thanks for being here for me! Your readership/friendship means a LOT to me. Really.. it does. I won't go into it.. getting all emotional.. <3