I'm not looking for any sort of sympathy, just really thought I should let all you kind folks who read my blog know something pretty personal: I'm a sufferer of severe depression and I am currently refusing to take drugs for it. Never have taken meds for mental issues before and I don't want to. Just felt the need to let you know why I'm slow to bring you any WoW related news: I simply haven't been playing WoW lately.
Also, the main reason I'm telling you this is because depression hit me like a truck when I found out the Weta Legs were not gonna happen. The only luxury item I've ever spent even close to that amount of money on was my PC... And even that wasn't completely for pleasure only, know what I'm sayin? So, it felt nice to be able to buy something so, uhm (I don't wanna say pointless...) specifically meant for one use only(?). You get what I'm saying, right? And it was thorough suckage getting the bad news that my luxury-pleasure-only item wasn't ever gonna be a reality. I'm looking for another builder though or even making some hooves myself because I'd still love to cosplay for you all. :)
Anyway, if you read all that blabbering, thank you for being a friend. I apologize that I've got nothing WoW for you at the moment. I've actually been playing Second Life lately to satisfy my urge to create and buy "material" things in instant-gratification-mode. ^_^ I figured, fill my head with thoughts of limitless creation and inventory space 'til the feelings of the lack of Weta Legs subsides. *sigh* [Yes, I know that it's a strange trigger for depression, but... it triggered it =/.]
Again, thank you for reading. It really does mean a lot to me.
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I know it's very nice to have something expensive once in a while.
ReplyDeleteBut I'm glad your getting back on your feet, I hope to see more songs from you because you have a amazing talent ^_^
Just dropping by to give you a /hug. I've experienced this before so I understand where you're coming from. Let me know if you have Skype & need someone to talk to (or talk at, I'm a good listener) lol.
ReplyDeleteAww sorry to hear ember. again i hope things get better. I'm rooting for ya especially since i went through QLC terribly when i first heard about you. Your music and the excitement of a new friend helped me and i hope whatever helps you gets you past yours as well.
ReplyDeleteAlso on another note becareful how much 2ndLife you play, WoWCrack is bad and from what i hear 2nd life is like '2ndVicodin'. Again hope all works out and you have a channel to vent.
ReplyDeleteI can completely relate. I should be seeing a therapist and a psych dr. for my depression but... It hasn't helped any over the past few years and only one medicine worked, and I can't take it anymore because I'm allergic to it. So, why bother?
ReplyDeleteAs for triggers... I saw an ad for a free horse. My dream horse, basically. I was depressed for MONTHS, even though I knew that it would be a bad idea to adopt said horse because I simply don't have the care money, or the physical ability to to things myself.
And SL is amazing for things like retail therapy. ;)
*hug* I completely understand what you're going through, girly. My mother and I are also sufferers of severe depression and I know it can be triggered by some of the strangest, least expected things. My mom has only ever taken medication for her depression once, otherwise neither of us have touched anything more than St. John's Wort and B complex. From what I've seen, medication tends to make the problem worse.
ReplyDeleteThat so sucks about the Weta legs. You spent so much money on those, the least they could do was make them. I hope you can still find a way to do your cosplay ^^ I still can't wait to see it!
Just know that I'm always here for ya, girly, and that you have my undying support.
I think I'd get depressed too and I don't suffer from severe depression. There's something so luxurious and almost selfish about buying something just for pure enjoyment, and then to have the rug yanked out from under you cannot be fun. I invested in a nook (the Barnes and Nobles ereader) for purely selfish motives and I was very upset when it fritzed on me after less than a month, so I can totally sympathize. I hope you find someone who can make the hooves for you.
ReplyDeleteStay strong, Ember, stay strong, oh yeah i was telling Raven about this on skype, but i ran into one of your fans yesterday while i was looking for a MP3, she was wearing a Girls do play wow shirt, and singing Shut up and Grind, so i asked her if she like wow parody music so she told me that she loves em, she espcially loves Your music and the video that You and raven did and also went on to mention that if she could ever meet the both of you it would make her day, but the main thing is, you got some fans in the land down under.
ReplyDeleteJames (romire)
It can hit us all, from any trigger, at any time. *hug*
ReplyDeleteBut we still read your blog and love your enthusiasm for the game! WoW will still be there whenever you're ready to come back to her. Depression stinks and the drugs for it are worse. I had effexor (or something) for a few months and all it did was eliminate any emotions I had. Pretty bland living. I'm proud of you for not taking the drugs; it's a very hard thing to do.
I also know what you mean about the buying-stuff-situation and without going into my life story I'll leave you with this: Keep looking for those legs, I know you'll find them. =)
If you start doing 'Girls Do Stop Playing WoW, Sometimes'... I'll just have to read that too :)
ReplyDelete-Roninhobbit
I know you said that you're not looking for any sympathy, but I know what you're going through.
ReplyDeleteI also suffer from severe depression. I've kind of always had it for as long as I can remember, but it was triggered into overdrive by a work related stress about four years ago.
I started playing WoW shortly thereafter, so I know what you mean by satisfying your instant-gratification-mode. Games are a nice escape from the real world (in moderation, of course, which hasn't always been the case for me).
If you're not down with taking medication, may I suggest seeing a therapist? I know it probably isn't my place to suggest this, so I'm sorry if that offends you. It helps to talk to someone that you're not emotionally attached to about your feelings though. If you don't like the thought of seeing a therapist, I can understand that too. It can be uncomfortable at times, but it does help if you stick with it.
Anyway, I've rambled on long enough. I hope you feel like playing WoW again in the not too distant future. The WoW community would lose a giant if you decided to stop playing.
Aww, *hug*
ReplyDeleteOh, i feel so sorry for you! I hope you will be ok soon and that things will turn into the right direction for you!
ReplyDelete/"Druid"
I have to say 1 thing.
ReplyDeletei bow down to your will power to not take any medical treatment for your depression. It shows how strong you are about it.
I havent been following you long. But with the Weta legs.
What about these?
http://www.pro-jump.co.uk/sitepage/Buy-Pro-Jump-Stilts.html
You take care hon! I always loved your videos, and I was able to share these in both of my guild in two different servers. Just keep up the good work! God Bless always! <3
ReplyDeleteFirst, my gf and I are fans of your singing. Thank you for the wow parodies, they are as pretty to listen to, as they are funny to hear. You'd really make it big if you started cutting records. Then you could buy a mansion full of draenei extensions.
ReplyDeleteSecond, Depression very often stems from the heart not getting what it wants. Even though your mind acknowledges the logic of a situation, it still provides no comfort to the heart, which still longs for that which it cannot have, whether it is an item, a job, or a loved one. Drugs will treat the symptoms, but not cure. It's like having towels to soak up water from a leaky roof, but not getting the roof fixed. If I may suggest, ask yourself what would you like to have for yourself, and really try for it. In baseball they say, "Swing for the fences". I suggest you do just that. Even if you strike out, you still took your best swing. And if you know anything about computers, you know, failures are 'learning opportunities' and not obstacles.
Lastly, I would like to know if you have a paypal account. I wish to make a donation for the music, and 'preorder' any upcoming albums you may have.
Best wishes,
"Kolloth"
(Madoran)